


Weakness

by gracediamondsfear



Series: Weakness [1]
Category: Warrior (2011)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-18 02:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracediamondsfear/pseuds/gracediamondsfear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Almost a year after winning Sparta, Brendan invites Tommy home to restart his life, but Tess isn't comfortable with her brother in law's presence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Weakness

Brendan brought him home. After their brief reunion at Sparta, Tommy told him to just stay away, to leave him to deal with the desertion charges on his own. No one could convince him that he needed his family beside him. No one could convince him that it was OK to ask for help, to admit weakness, or worse to show it. 

He’d shown weakness in the ring with Brendan and it was a breakdown he still hadn’t gotten over. There wasn’t enough medication or therapy in the world to make him forget how everything had closed in on him, how he felt like the world was out of focus, far away, not real. He couldn’t ever forget the way the pain spread from his shoulder to every cell of his body, how he could barely breathe, felt like someone was standing on his chest. He couldn’t stop himself from crying like a kid, something he hadn’t done since Manny died. Even now, in the car on the way home he couldn’t hear anything but rushing waves and yelling, gunfire. He shook his head to clear it – if only for a while.

 

At least once a month the Conlon fight showed up somewhere - on ESPN, on UFC highlight shows, HBO Real Sports. And Brendan Conlon was everywhere: on talk shows, in fitness magazines, frigging Ladies’ Home Journal did a piece about his family for fuck’s sake. He was the perfect man with a perfect soul, willing to take down his psycho little brother with a roundhouse to the face so he wouldn’t kill himself in the ring. That’s how it was now. Brendan was the champ, Tommy was forgotten. He didn’t much mind fading away like that. He hadn’t gone to Sparta to get his face on a box of Wheaties; and even though Tommy lost, everything seemed to work itself out in the end. Brendan assured him that Manny’s family would be taken care of for a long time. And with the testimony from his brothers and further proof of the friendly fire massacre he’d lived through all boiling under the heat of the media spotlight his case had been settled without jail time or dishonorable discharge and whether he dared to admit it or not he had his family back – such as it was. When the charges were dismissed Brendan was leaning against the car outside the courthouse just as he promised.

“You can stay here, well, I mean, forever as far as I care – but, you know, as long as you want…or need to,” Brendan said, pulling off the expressway. 

“Yeah..thanks. Thanks man…”

Brendan clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder to calm him. Neither of them talked much more as he wound through the streets to the Conlon’s new five bedroom house in Sewickley. Spring was coming and they had the windows rolled down, Tommy drumming his fingers on the door. He still found himself at a loss for words when they weren’t supposed to hurt. He threw insults and invective like he threw punches, but the quiet, delicate, meaningful moments were near to impossible. Brendan stopped the car in the driveway and Tommy just got out and stared.

“Is Pop here?” he asked, looking up at the windows on the second floor. The setting sun turned them all into golden mirrors. 

“No, not staying here. He’s been here,” Brendan said, hitching one of his brother’s bags onto his own shoulder and walking towards the garage. “We’re still working through some stuff Tommy and you know I’ve been traveling a lot since…”

Tommy pulled the brim of his ball cap lower, the toothpick between his lips flicking around like the tongue of an angry snake. He dropped his duffel in front of the closed garage door and smiled.

“Since you beat me at Sparta. You can say it you know, I mean I’m not going to bust out crying again.”

“Tommy, listen…”

The garage door rumbled to life and started rolling up. Brendan heard Em and Rosie arguing about something in their little chirping voices and he smiled. It was judo day. He loved seeing them in their crisp white Gis, leaping and kicking their way to the car. Tess was on the phone, pinning it to her ear with her shoulder. When she saw Brendan and Tommy she hung up, letting it slide expertly into her shoulder bag. The girls stood side by side, only a few feet from the uncle they’d never met, barely even ever heard about. Their faces were wary but intrigued, hopeful maybe. Tommy could see a bit of his own face in Rosie and he offered her a tentative smile.

“Welcome home Tommy,” Tess said, pulling him into a quick hug.

“Yeah, thanks,” he said, looking at his feet, feeling suddenly overwhelmed, exhausted, like they were all standing there expecting something he couldn’t produce.

“This is Rosie and Emily,” Tess said, pushing the them forward an inch or two. “Girls, this is your uncle Tommy."

He crouched down to their level and held his hand out flat.

“I don’t shake hands, you can give me five,” he said.

Emily jumped on the opportunity and slapped his palm with the full force of her arm but Rosie threw herself into his lap, hugging him with all the strength a four year old can muster.

“OH, OK,” he said, peeling her off. “I guess hugs are fine too.”

“You gonna live here?” Emily asked.

“I’m just crashing here for a while, if that’s ok.”

Tess stepped forward and picked up the duffel bag.

“Of course, as long as you need. We’re just excited to have you back, Tommy.”

His eyes locked on Tess’ for just a minute and it was like fifteen years sped away down a dark tunnel. She looked just like she had the first time Brendan brought her over for dinner. She’d worn a pair of jeans and a faded Pittsburgh Penguins sweatshirt, her hair in a messy French braid down to the middle of her back. She was something of a tomboy, hung out with guys, didn’t wear makeup, knew more about football than Brendan did, but still maintained that soft, raspberry scented aura that made her naturally sexy, effortless, even while watching t.v. wearing Brendan’s hoodie. She would stretch her neck with her eyes closed, tipping her chin back to expose the hollow of her throat and Tommy would find himself hypnotized. He and pop had teased Brendan mercilessly over his new girlfriend, “the love of his life” after only three dates; but at night when he was alone, listening to the rain on the roof of his attic bedroom, Tommy dreamed that one day she’d wake up and choose him.


	2. Untitled

Tess lead everyone up the staircase to show Tommy his bedroom - a suite almost - over the garage. It was originally going to be a playroom for the girls until Brendan convinced her that Tommy needed him, needed to be taken care of no matter how loudly he denied it. It had been a long argument. A long night. Fixing Tommy wasn't their job. But family was family, no matter what. It was hard for her to see anything but the raging, steely eyed animal from Sparta, the dirty fighter, the cheap shots after the bell. His breakdown in the final round hadn’t softened her heart quite as much as everyone else. Sometimes we bring the weight of the world down on ourselves. He was no innocent victim. Tommy was a stranger to her as far as she was concerned and she told Brendan as much, letting him know that he was not allowed to be alone with the girls or with her until she was comfortable.

 

“T, he’s my brother. This is Tommy, baby. Come on, you remember Tommy.”

“Yeah, I do,” she said. “And this is the angrier, scarier, full grown adult version.”

Even as the words came out she could see how they cut into him. He was so trusting, his heart so easily opened to someone he hadn’t seen in a lifetime. He honestly believed that the slates were all wiped clean and they would all just pick up where they left off fifteen years ago. Through his brotherly love he couldn’t see how worn down Tommy was, how his hands shook, his fingers constantly twitching, his eyes darting everywhere, on alert. There was a reason he had court mandated therapy. Brendan couldn’t see that Tommy was broken. Of course he hadn’t seen it fifteen years ago either. Back then he'd been angry. Now...now he just looked sad, closed off, dark.

“Wow, this is…this is really nice, Tess. It looks real comfortable,” he said, sitting on the edge of the double bed. The girls both stuck right to his side like glue, enthralled by the novelty of new family. “Is this any good for jumping?” he asked Rosie, pretending to whisper.

“No jumping on the bed!” Emily yelled. “You’ll bust your neck!”

Tommy laughed for the first time in weeks. These little girls made him…calm…safe. They didn't know anything about what he'd done, who he'd been. They just saw him as a fellow human being. He was tempted to ask for another hug until he felt Tess staring at him, her arms crossed, her smile forced and fake.

“We’re ordering pizza tonight, after judo,” she said, herding the girls out of the room. “Why don’t you take some time to get settled. There’re fresh towels in the bathroom and the t.v. remote is in the nightstand.”

“Thanks Tess. Both of you. All of you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you’re right. I’m beat. I’ll check out for a while and see you guys later.”

It wasn’t until his head hit the pillow after his shower that he felt the true depths of his exhaustion.

 

Tess was a smart girl, even at sixteen. She knew from the moment she met Tommy that he resented her taking his brother away, the only stable half-way well adjusted role model he had. Whenever she came over Tommy wheedled his way into their plans, flopping down on the couch when they rented a movie or suddenly needing a ride to the mall just as they were leaving – anything to sabotage their time alone. In truth she was surprised the he didn’t have a girl of his own. A sophomore wrestling varsity undefeated, good looking with a killer smile, all the more gorgeous because it was so rarely seen.

“Why don’t you go out with Stephanie?” She asked one afternoon while the three of them flipped through a yearbook. They were sitting on the front stoop, Tess and Brendan sharing a cigarette while Young Theagenes waved the smoke away from his face, coughing dramatically. Tommy shrugged in reply to her question.

“She’s ok. She’s nice,” he said, looking out across the street.

"What about Andrea?” Brendan offered.

“Nah."

“I know,” Tess said, “what about Heather S.?” (Not to be confused with Heather V who was rumored to be a witch) Again he just shrugged.

“Maybe he likes guys!” Brendan said, laughing. Tess threw a look in Tommy’s direction wondering if the joke would set him off. Instead he smiled, that wide eye-crinkling smile.

“Or maybe I already have a girlfriend and you don’t know it?” His eyes flicked over to Tess then and locked on while his smile faded. "Wouldn't that just make you crazy?" She felt too warm, the smoke was getting to her so she got up to leave, kissing Brendan once on the lips.

“Pick me up tonight? Eight?”

“You got it baby,” answered both Conlon boys in unison. They laughed and Tess shook her head. When she left, Tommy was still staring.


	3. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brendan, Tess and Tommy hang out one last time before the family is broken up forever.

All Brendan wanted in life was to pin Tommy once. To just once beat him at his own game. Not because he gave a shit about wrestling, but because then maybe Tommy would have a flaw. He would have a failure, an X on that dumb ass chart he made. Leave it to Tommy to believe he deserved a seat on Mount Olympus. 

He and Pop had turned the finished basement into a gym where they’d clang around and work out at all hours, their voices booming through the house counting out sets. Money that should have gone into Brendan’s meager college fund bought an extensive set of free weights; barbells, dumbbells, weight plates, benches. Replacing the dishwasher was too expensive so mom washed dishes for an hour each night by herself, but Tommy had the best mats and shoes and a stereo system with wall mounted speakers. These gifts, these renovations would magically appear after the fights, after mom’s bruises faded, and Tommy’s rage at his father cooled a bit. After Pop apologized and whimpered and begged for forgiveness, not only from mom, but from the boys, the house would be filled with gifts for everyone. Then he promised them every time it would be different, that he was going to clean it all up and be the best dad he could be. Then Tommy would retreat to his cave, mom would cower in the kitchen, Brendan would be forgotten and everything would go back to its previous rhythm.

 

Every once in a while Brendan would call Tommy out, challenge him to keep him warmed up. He made it seem like he was doing it for his benefit. The trouble was that Brendan thought too much. Not only did he think about strategy, about where his feet were, where Tommy was going next, but he worried about hurting him. He didn’t imagine himself some sort of super hulk, but Tommy was his little brother and he had no fear, no sense of self preservation. So when Brendan had the opportunity to bend him into a pretzel he held back and that was when Tommy went in for the kill. Every time. He would grind Brendan’s face into the mat, squeezing an arm around his neck, rubbing it in in more ways than one.

“Come on big brother, tap. It’s ok. Tap. You can give up now. I won’t tell anyone.”

And inevitably the wrestling would deteriorate into a brawl until someone yelled down the stairs at them to knock it off.

Tess let herself in the side door, grabbed a Diet coke and hopped down the stairs, laughing at the brothers in their shorts, rolling around like bear cubs, swearing and growling.

“Get him Brendan, pin him!”

They both looked up and Brendan only had time to smile at her before Tommy threw him down, bending his left arm into a pigeon wing. Tess cringed and Brendan tapped the mat.

“That’s why I don’t have a girl,” Tommy said, catching his breath. “They’re too distracting.”

“There’s more to life than wrestling man,” Brendan said, putting his arm around Tess’ waist.

And for a short moment the room felt heavy. Tommy stared at him with a look she’d never seen before. Almost pleading. Maybe disappointment.

“There’s more to life than girls, too,” he finally said.

Tess laughed, but the brothers just continued staring each other down as if she wasn’t even there. Finally Brendan shook his head, grabbing his t-shirt off the couch.

“You think I don’t know that? Really?”

“I don’t know what’s going on babe, but you said we were going to leave by eight,” Tess said, holding onto his arm.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Brendan kissed her forehead. “And you look nice. You look great. I’ll go get ready.”

After Brendan left Tommy hit the weights while Tess flipped through t.v. channels on the other side of the room to pass the time.

“Where you goin’ tonight?” He asked between sets. She was more dressed up than usual, tight black pants and high heeled boots, a low cut red shirt that pushed her tits right up into his face. She even wore makeup and earrings, shiny red lip gloss. She shrugged, not looking up. 

“Out. Maybe over to Mike’s party.”

Tommy heard the shower water rushing through the pipes and flopped down on the couch next to Tess, close enough that their knees touched. Still she watched t.v. Heat radiated off of his skin.

“You know I think Brendan really likes you,” he said. “You’re like all he talks about. He says he loves you.”

She smiled, caught off guard by the quiet tone of his voice. The honesty of it. 

“Well I sure hope so,” she said with a laugh.

“So what…you give it up to him or what?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just asking a question. I mean he just seems so happy…I figured you must either be super tight or you suck cock like a pro.”

She jumped up, glaring at him. “You’re a real prick, Tommy. I mean it.”

He reached up and wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her back down to the couch. She fell against his chest and she pushed herself away.

“Oh relax, I’m just joking around with you. Jesus.”

“Well don’t. I can’t believe you’d think that was OK.”

“OH rowr! Now she’s mad.”

She stood up again. “I’ll wait for Brendan upstairs.”

“Hey Tess,” he said, chasing after her. “Come on. I’m sorry. I’ll shut up. Sit down. Come on.” She turned back and he gave her his best impish smile, his widest eyes. “I just keep thinking I can screw around with you like the rest of the guys you know? I’m a dick. I’ll behave.”

He held his arms out for a hug, but when she leaned into it he pulled her into a kiss, surprisingly hard and invasive for being just a kid. He held her tightly with one hand on her neck and pushed her lips apart with his own, his tongue driving deep into her mouth until her whine vibrated against both of their lips. She pushed him away and he laughed, wiping her lipgloss from his mouth.

“Ooo! You’ve been wanting that for weeks, haven’t ya?” he said, walking back to his weights.

“Fuck you Tommy,” she said heading up the stairs two at a time.

“Anytime baby. Just call first so I can get ready.”

She thought about telling Brendan. She wondered what he’d do, what he’d say, who he’d be angry at. In the end she kept it all to herself because she didn’t want to have to tell him how long it took her to push Tommy away. And a week later it didn’t matter because both Tommy and his mother were gone.


	4. Swimming

It only took Brendan three weeks to break his promise to Tess. A new record but increasingly common since he became something of a minor celebrity. They were still adjusting to his overnight fame and the media requests and appearances. The rematch offers from nearly everyone on the Sparta card were a daily occurrence and the money they offered climbed with every phone call. Tess did her best to keep the family normal, doing normal things, away from the spotlight, out of the public eye. And as far as she could see, Tommy’s presence did nothing to help her cause.

After her doctor’s appointment she came home to find Brendan’s truck gone and the outdoor stereo blaring around the pool. Walking through the kitchen to the patio she saw Tommy jump off the diving board, splashing Rosie and Emily who were giggling and applauding in the shallow end. Tommy. Alone with her girls. It was her one rule.

 

She switched off the stereo and all three of them looked in her direction, all three of them squinting into the sun with their heads cocked to the side, all three of them looking like confused children. 

“Hey mommy!”

“Hey Tess, come on in!”

“No thanks. Emily, where’s your floatie suit? You know you need it when you’re in the pool.”

“Uncle Tommy was teaching us the front crawl,” Rosie said. “It’s better than the doggie paddle.”

“Emily can’t swim Tommy,” Tess said, pulling her youngest from the pool.

“Only one way to learn,” he said. The smile on his face, that clever, winning smile, that smugness made her suddenly angry.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t swim with them when we’re not here, OK?”

He pulled himself from the pool with one arm and although he towered over her, he looked like a beaten dog, not an ounce of smug left in him. 

“I’m sorry, T,” he said, calling her a nickname from their youth. “I understand. I’m really sorry. You know I would never let anything happen to them.”

“No Tommy, I don’t know that,” she snapped. Emily was in her arms wrapped in a towel and the sound of her voice made her bury her face in her mother’s shoulder while Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed with hurt. “Where’s Brendan anyway?”

Tommy grabbed a towel and ruffled his short hair before throwing it over his shoulder.

“He got a call from Izzy and had to head into the city to sign some stuff and pick up a check. He said he’d be back before the girls went to bed.” When she turned away from him he grabbed her elbow and quickly dropped it when he saw the look on her face. “Listen, we were just sitting inside watching t.v. and Em said she was hot and wanted to go swimming. That’s all. We’ve only been out here for half an hour. I was watching them every second. I’m sorry.”

When she said nothing in reply he shouldered past her and went inside.

 

The girls went to bed at eight thirty and Brendan still wasn’t home. Tess sat on the couch with a beer and her phone on the coffee table, half-heartedly watching something on t.v. She was always afraid when his agent called. Izzy was a smooth talker with big plans and he wanted Brendan to fight again, full time…all the time…to make a name for himself, a legend…a BRAND he said. He never bought Brendan’s explanation for entering Sparta, but thought it made a great “origin story” for a star. And Brendan had an appeal that endorsers were always looking for, the boy next door, the family man, the hulking beast with a heart of gold. He could even do broadcasting…if he got a few more fights under his belt and straightened out that accent a little. At first Brendan just laughed it all off. He even laughed off the idea of an agent, a manager, doing endorsements. But as offers to be on magazine covers and morning talk shows began popping up he realized that there was more than five million dollars to be made from winning Sparta even if he never stepped in the cage again…which he promised Tess he wouldn’t do. But the more Izzy called, the more meetings he took, the more money he made, Tess wondered if this was one more promise he would find a way not to keep.

Tommy snuck out the back door and dove back in the pool once the girls were asleep. It was still hot and the cicadas were out, chattering as the sun went down. He’d always loved the water, how light it made him feel, inside and out. It was so quiet beneath the surface. The water filled his ears, surrounded him, enveloped him and blocked out everything else. He swam a few slow laps and then flipped over to float on his back, watching a plane blink its way across the purple sky.

It was clear that Tess still hated him. Not even dislike, not even ‘was irritated by’. And he knew it had nothing to do with Sparta. She hated him for what he did to her nearly fifteen years ago. He was kid back then. A strong kid -- and intimidating -- but a kid nonetheless. He’d replayed that kiss in his head a thousand times while he and his mom drove across the country, feeling alternately proud and ashamed. Even as a kid he knew better than to force himself on a girl, to make her kiss him; but he’d seen it done in movies. He’d seen kisses like that stolen and appreciated. Chicks lived for that stuff in the movies. And if both of them were honest, she hadn’t pushed him away. Not immediately. It wasn’t just in his head that she’d kissed him back, if only for a second. Even so, he knew right then that she would never look at him the way she looked at Brendan. In fact, right at that moment he knew no one ever would. He thought that then, he believed it now. He just wanted to know for sure. He wanted to see what it was like. 

Because she had changed Brendan overnight. Before Tess he used to skulk around the house like Tommy, quiet, withdrawn, the both of them just existing, keeping the peace. The two of them were doing their best to get through life at home until they could move out or Pop kicked off, whichever came first. And then she showed up and Brendan seemed lighter, happier, more optimistic. He saw the good in things. He saw the light at the end of the tunnel, something to work towards. So much so that when they made their final plan to leave, the plan they’d worked on for years, Brendan said he couldn’t go. He loved her too much to leave her. Like this was some sort of fucking romance novel. He would abandon his mother, leave his brother, he would stay in the hell that he vowed to leave only two months earlier…for her. For some reason mom had understood, but Tommy wanted to know why. What was the magic she had? Being a hormonally charged teenager he assumed her magic was between her legs, but watching Brendan with her even when they were just playing video games, he knew there was something more. He thought he’d feel it if he touched her. He thought he’d find it if he could only kiss her. Just once. Maybe then she could change him too. It hadn’t been his first kiss, wasn’t his last, probably wasn’t even his best, but he would never forget exactly how it felt. Even now, as he floated in the pool he could touch his fingertips to his own lips and remember what she tasted like, the bright red lip gloss like strawberry candy.

Since that night he’d been all over the country, all over the world looking for someone that had that kind of power. One night stands, blind dates, a girlfriend while he was in high school that clung to him like a spider monkey but still left him feeling alone. After a while he gave up. By the time he made his way home to Pittsburgh, after burying his mother, deserting his unit, living on the run, he decided he was meant to be alone. He could get laid when he needed to, find someone to get him through the night, but he wasn’t meant for the kind of happiness Brendan had. He wasn’t meant for happiness.

“Hey,”

Tess’ voice cut through his thoughts and he swam over to the side of the pool, shaking water out of his ear. She stood near the back door, the light from the kitchen surrounding her in a pale golden halo.

“I’m sorry about this afternoon Tommy. I over reacted.”

“Nah, I get you. I just, it was hot and they were begging to go in the pool. I should have said no…”

“It’s just…we haven’t seen you in a long time. I just want to make sure the girls are safe. And I was frustrated that Brendan wasn’t home, that he’d left the girls…”

“Alone with me?”

She smiled, embarrassed, digging at the doorjamb with her toe. Tommy got out of the pool and pulled a t-shirt over his head. It wasn’t lost on him how her muscles tensed when he walked towards her, how she took the tiniest step backwards and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Everywhere he went he left a trail of damage.

“Those girls, Tess. I’ve only known them for three weeks and already I love ‘em. I already feel like…like they’re part of me.”

“They are part of you Tommy. You just never cared about that part before.”

“I just want you to know that I would never hurt them. I would never let anything happen to them. I mean that girl, that little Emily? She made me laugh out loud for the first time in forever. I’m not around kids that much. Manny’s kids…I didn’t get to meet them until they were…until he was dead and they were just…they were broken. They weren’t kids anymore you know?”

She nodded, knowing that it was important for him to get this out. She’d read it online while researching PTSD. As much as he frightened her, she wanted to help him. For Brendan’s sake.

“But your girls, Tess. They’re in heaven you know?” he continued. “Their lives are perfect. I would do anything to make sure they stay happy like that forever. And I’ve only known them for a month. So I get how protective you are of them. I’m sorry.”

"It’s ok Tommy. Like I said, I over reacted. You can swim with them whenever.” She turned to go inside and he spoke softly.

“I wouldn’t ever hurt you either. I’m sorry for that too. I’m sorry that I scared you.”

“I said it was fine…”

“I'm not talking about today.”

They stood in silence for a minute or two and Tess finally nodded, holding the door open for him to walk past her.

“Come inside Tommy, I’ll make you something to eat.”


	5. Pool Party

They had a pool party for Brendan’s birthday. It was the end of August and the East Coast was suffering the worst heat wave in years. Everything was dry and sharp, washed out from the sun and heat. Unless it was absolutely necessary, everyone stayed inside, curtains drawn and air conditioning pumped up to the max. But the girls wanted a pool party, and Brendan acquiesced, even allowing bouquets of pink and purple balloons as decoration…for him. Izzy came out from the city, as well as Paddy and his new “girlfriend” Estelle from church. Tess’s mom and dad and brother and sister-in-law with their kids came out as well as a few of her girlfriends from work who heard Tommy Conlon was in town, still single and considerably less volatile than a year ago, but still with enough angst to be the bad boy they’d always dreamed of. They showed up in their tiniest, most brightly colored bikinis, giggling and on the prowl. He was polite. He shook their hands and kissed their cheeks, remembered their names, offered them drinks and made conversation, but the girls were not idiots. It was obvious after only fifteen minutes that Tommy only had eyes for one woman at the party, and she was unavailable.

 

In truth Tommy was happy to just be outside with Rosie and Emily (who had learned the front crawl in only three lessons) and the rest of his family for the first time in years. It was the kind of 'normal' happiness that he didn't have growing up and he soaked it up now every chance he got. Paddy and Estelle were on the patio under the umbrella watching the rest of the party goers enjoying themselves and Tommy loved the look of quiet contentment in both of them. They weren’t ecstatic, they weren’t glowing, they weren't staring into one another’s eyes with unbridled passion; they were just comfortable. It was right. Paddy’s face was lined and older than it should be, but his eyes were clear and calm. Clean.

After his relapse in Atlantic City Tommy finally saw the pain he’d carried with him, the pain he’d caused and couldn’t take back, the pain he suffered and couldn’t relieve. He understood why alcohol was such a powerful temptation. A few drinks and it took everything away. Three months after the tournament the three of them - Paddy, Brendan and Tommy - had gone to the gravesite. Brendan’s words on the beach had always stuck with him. He didn’t have any right to keep his mother’s sickness from him, or her death. But he held onto it because it gave him superiority. He’d been the martyr -- the kid just out of high school holding his mother’s hair while she puked, changing her sheets when she pissed herself, listening to her babbling incoherently, crying, yelling in the throes of her agony. Tommy found his own mother cold and dead in a kitchen chair, a glass of iced tea and a copy of People magazine on the table in front of her, so he had a right to be bitter about it. In the end it was that graveyard visit on a cold, sunny October day that got them all talking again, started them forgiving, sending them down a new road. It wasn’t over yet, and Tommy still found himself getting angry, wanting revenge or maybe just a little credit, but he talked it out in therapy instead of punching through a wall, and his medication was working better every day.

Tess and Brendan jumped into the pool with the girls and Tommy and they started a game of keepaway with an beach ball. Before long it became too competitive for Rosie and Em, the brothers dunking each other under the surface, the crowd cheering from the patio when either one emerged victorious. 

“B! Throw it to me! Come on!” Tess jumped up and down in the shallow end and Brendan lobbed the ball over everyone’s head to his wife’s waiting arms. But before she could grab it Tommy popped up behind her, grabbing her around her waist, holding her arms down with his other hand. 

“Oh no you don’t!” He growled in her ear. She felt her scalp prickle at his words, his thick arm tight around her belly, his scratchy wet chest pressed against her back.

“Foul Tommy! Foul!” Brendan yelled, laughing and swimming over to rescue her. 

They were all laughing, even Tess, until Tommy pulled away and his hand brushed over her breast. She turned around and splashed an armful of water in his face. He was blazing red, his eyes wide with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry T. I mean it,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender. 

Her eyes softened and she relaxed, smiling at him. Brendan pulled her into his own arms and nuzzled her neck, both of them drifting into the deep end.

“Uncle Tommy let’s play Marco Polo!” Rosie screamed.

“I’m takin’ a break sweetcakes. You play with your mom for a while or somethin’,” he said, pulling himself out of the water. He dried off and fished around for a beer in the cooler on the patio. 

“The girls have really taken to you, Tommy,” Paddy said. “I knew once you met them you’d fall for them right away.”

“Yeah, they’re great. Great girls,” Tommy said, nodding long after he’d finished talking. 

Paddy watched him watching Tess and felt a fluttering panic, like seeing a car crash ten miles in the distance. His youngest son couldn’t conceal the adoration on his face, the desire. It was innocent enough, not predatory or threatening like some might think Tommy would be, but dangerous nonetheless. Particularly when they were all under one roof.

“You thinking of getting your own place in the city Tom?” Paddy asked, keeping it casual.

“I’m thinking. Just got to get a better job first. I mean I pick up shifts at Sylvie’s but bartending don’t pay the rent, you know?” He took a long pull off of his beer and managed to tear his eyes away from his sister in law.

“Yeah I know…but sometimes it helps to get out there, you know, throw yourself out of the nest.”

“Did Brendan send you over here to tell me this or is it just your own nagging?”

“Come on Tommy, I’m just saying…Brendan and Tess…they’ve been through a lot themselves and they got their own family here. They need to move on together and you need to move on, too.”

“You could stay with Paddy,” Estelle offered, her voice small and delicate. “I know he’d love to have you.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think we’re quite to that chapter of the happy ending yet, Stella, sorry.” Tommy leaned back, pulling down his sunglasses to indicate the conversation was over.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,” Izzy’s voice cut through the party and Tess looked up, terrified at how excited he looked. “Brendan, can you come up here please? Brendan and I thought we’d take this moment to announce a great deal we’ve inked."

Brendan stood beside his agent smiling nervously, trading his gaze between Tess and Tommy, not sure how either of them were going to take the news. Izzy slapped his hand on Brendan’s shoulder and continued.

“Next year, ESPN will be showing a four part series on the history of MMA and its impact on the culture. Our friend Brendan here has signed on to be featured in one of the segments as the first Sparta champion. His story of triumph and saving his brother,” Izzy held a hand out to Tommy who wanted to sink through the ground. “will be the tearjerker of the century. After next May, the country will be screaming for Brendan Conlon.”

“And...and Tommy,” Brendan added, seeing the look of humiliation on his brother’s face, “Tommy they want to talk to you too.”

“Neat,” Tommy said, heading into the house.

Tess stared at Brendan from the pool. She wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. She was happy for him. It wasn’t fighting. Just talking about fighting. He’d done it all year. It was their bread and butter at this point. He caught her eye and she smiled, giving him the thumbs up.

“And next week Brendan and I will be headed out to L.A. to start filming, do a little pub, make the rounds. Who knows...maybe they'll be making a movie of his life next. The sky's the limit!” Izzy said, dropping the bomb. “Don’t worry Tess, darling, he’ll only be gone for two weeks.”

Her smiled faded. Two weeks. It meant Brendan would miss Emily’s first day of kindergarten. It meant she would be alone with Tommy for two weeks. It meant she would be alone. Brendan looked at her, his eyes pleading with her to understand, but she just shook her head and pulled herself from the pool. 

“Tess wait,” he said, running after her. 

She didn’t turn back to him, just ran up the steps of the deck to the back door. Tommy was in the kitchen in front of the open refrigerator, staring at nothing. Tess threw open the back sliding door and hopping over the threshold, slipped on a puddle of water. She flew backward onto the deck, her leg bent beneath her until she heard a sickening crack. The party fell silent as Brendan rushed over and scooped her into his arms. She was sobbing with pain, her calf swelling by the second.

“Get the keys Tommy, come on.”

Brendan carried her to the car and stretched her out on the back seat. Tommy drove to the hospital, all three of them in their bathing suits, silent, wet and scared. Not just for Tess’ broken leg, but for everything else that was to come.


	6. Medicated

She wakes up in pain, her broken leg throbbing in its cast. Tommy walks by the open bedroom door and peeks in on her, not crossing the threshold. He's been out running and the tattoos on his chest and arms glisten with sweat. His hair is wet.

“Emily’s doin’ homework. I never had homework in first grade. Jesus. And Rosie’s in the tub. You OK for now?”

“When can I have my next pill?” She asks, trying to look as pained as possible.

“Not for a while. You only just took it two hours ago.”

“Oh,”

He crosses into the room then, to her bedside, and sits on the edge. She pulls the blanket up to her chest although the room is already too warm.

“I bet I can make you feel better baby,” he says, leaning forward, touching her lips with his rough, salty fingers.

“Tommy don’t,”

He looks hurt, offended. “You afraid I’m gonna hurt you kitten?” He kisses the soft skin behind her ear, his other hand caressing her cheek. Her skin burns where he touches her. He radiates heat. She's angry at herself. “I promise you baby, I can be so soft.” He kisses her mouth, so gently, just a whisper. "I'll make you feel so good."

“Tommy I can’t,"

He kisses her again with those warm, soft, full lips, his tongue smooth over hers, his hand roaming down to her breast. He’s not a boy any more. He’s an experienced man, well-practiced and passionate. Her arms prickle with goosebumps.

“Aren’t you gonna stop me baby?” He asks, his hand at the waistband of her yoga pants.

“I can’t,” she says between kisses.

“You can’t what?”

 

++++++++++++++++++++

 

She woke up breathless with her heart racing and her cheeks flushed. When Tommy came to check on her she was sure he could read her mind.

"Hey, you ok? I thought you were sleepin’?”

“I…can I get my next pill?” she asked. 

He looked at his watch and nodded. “Yeah. Sure. Hey, I’m going to take the girls out for pizza since its Friday. You want us to bring you some?” She nodded, still rattled at the dream, how real it felt, the taste, the goosebumps, as if she’d actually…”OK. So I’ll get your pill, your Diet Coke and we’ll head out, give you some peace and quiet.”

“Thanks,” she said, not looking him in the eye.

“Anything for you, your majesty,” he answered with a laugh.

 

++++++++++++++++++++

 

When she sat in the hospital waiting for the surgery to reset her broken tibia, Tess wondered if this would be enough to get Brendan to cancel his trip. Part of her felt selfish for even thinking it. This was his time in the spotlight. He fought for it and he won it. This was how he was providing for his family. Yet she was fairly sure that they’d forgo some of the money, the vacations, the pool, the new house, if they could just have him around more often. She didn’t want to be home alone in pain, for two weeks. She wanted someone to take care of her, to take care of the girls so she could relax.

“You’ve got friends who can come by and make dinner, right?” Brendan suggested. “Or you could call Pops or your mom could come down from Buffalo?”

“I don’t want my mom to come down from Buffalo. I want you to be home with your family. That’s why you started all of this. For your family.”

He took her hand in his and kissed the knuckles.

“I know babe. I know that. And after this, it’s over. I’m telling Izzy I’m done. This is the last chapter.”

She smiled at him, at the fact that he actually believed it would work that way. The doctor came in and escorted him to the waiting room, promising he could come in and say good bye before she headed to the OR. 

Brendan sat in the waiting room with his knee bouncing up and down at an inhuman pace. He rubbed his forehead, got up, looked out the window, turned, walked back to the chair and started bouncing his knee all over again.

“I have to go Tommy. You know that. They’re not going to put this on hold for me.”

“I know,” Tommy said, twirling the worn toothpick between his lips. “I just know that she’s not going to be able to handle those girls on her own.”

“That’s why you’re here right? I mean, you guys all get along great. You can help her out.”

“That’s me. Staff Sergeant Conlon – free babysitter.”

“What are you pissed about?”

“I’m not pissed about nothing, B. I just know that you and Tess just got done screaming at each other about how often you were away from home, how you were putting all this Brendan Conlon America’s Sweetheart bullshit before your family and then you let Izzy sign you up for some bullshit movie about how fucking great you are.”

“What am I supposed to do Tommy? Turn down $175,000 bucks? You know, they want you, too. I told them they should talk to you, too. Who knows what you could make out of it. I don't even mean just money, either.”

Tommy looked at him and shook his head, a sarcastic smile spreading across his face.

“Good ol’ Brendan,” he said. “Saving his brother’s life again.”

Brendan started pacing. It was his birthday. It was a giant pile of shit. And he’d ruined it. Did any of them understand that he was doing it all for them? That he didn’t ask to go away for two weeks, that was just the deal? A nurse peeked in the room and let Brendan know that he could come on back and give Tess a kiss before she left for surgery, assuring them that it was a good clean break and would take less than an hour to get it set and casted. Tommy came up behind his brother and patted him on the shoulder.

“Hey, look. That was shitty of me to say. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, you know that. Fact is, Pop said you were thinking about kicking me out. That you guys were tired of having me around. That's what I was pissed about. I’m glad to have a couple more weeks with the girls. I’ll have Stella or Missy come over if I have a bar shift. It won’t be any problem. I was just…I know things have been hard for you and Tess lately. I don’t want to see you guys rippin’ each other up over this...or me.”

"No man," Brendan said, "Pop's crazy. We'd never kick you out. You're family. You're here as long as you want to be here. I love you. We all do." 

And although Tommy had told him never to do it again, Brendan pulled him into his arms and hugged him tight. He knew that eventually someone would understand.

While Brendan held her hand and stroked her hair, the doctor came in and gave her the first dose of sedation and within seconds she felt warm and dreamy. It was in that fog she forgave him. She reached her hand up and stroked his cheek.

“I love you baby,” she said, her words starting to slur. “I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m just being selfish. I just want you next to me. I don’t sleep when you’re not next to me. You keep me warm.”

“I love you too baby. You rest now. I already talked to him and I’m going to have Tommy take care of you and the girls,” he said. The words seemed far away, but her heart still jumped in her chest. She heard alarms in her mind. She tried to say something else but Brendan was already far away. “Tommy said he would love to take care of you. He loves you and the girls.

Tess was asleep before she could hear the last three words.


	7. A Night In

For the first time since he first set foot in Iraq, Tommy felt truly useful…needed. He wasn’t just a damaged soul wandering the streets trying to make it through the day on the backs of everyone else. Manny’s family had gotten their due and his children were secure for a long time, but it wasn’t because of Tommy. It was because of Brendan, and although this was barely a teardrop in an ocean, he saw taking care of Tess and the girls as part of his payback for helping him fulfill his promise to Pilar. Three days after Tess came home from the hospital, Tommy took Brendan to meet Izzy for their trip to LA.

“Tommy!” Izzy called out, clapping him hard on the shoulder. “I know you’re feeling a little left out in the cold on this, but we had to wait and see what happened with the court martial before we started throwing you in the spotlight.”

Tommy shrugged him off with a scowl only Brendan could detect.

“I’m not really interested in the spotlight,” he said, taking in the image of his brother in a steel gray suit that cost more than his mortgage and the same sunglasses as his agent. Izzy laughed in disbelief.

“C’mon! That face? That body? Christ I could get you on the cover of Men’s Health inside two months.”

Brendan nodded with encouragement in Tommy’s direction. When they were little Tommy's only wish had been for worldwide fame, Olympic gold, his name in the paper, “chicks lined up for miles to get with this,” is what he’d said when he was only twelve, all buck teeth and concave chest. And here it was; not to mention all the money he could earn, the independence, his own place. But now Tommy was just looking back at the both of them like they were from another planet. He pulled Brendan’s bags out of the truck and allowed for a quick hug.

“Call me anytime Tommy. Tell Tess, the girls…they can call...whenever. It’s earlier there and I'll have my phone all the time. So...”

“Yeah. You told me six times already. We’ll call. Jesus. You gonna start crying? Just...you call when you land ok? You heard her ask you to do that right away.”

And for a minute they were both kids again, Tommy threatening to tattle if he didn’t behave, both of them rolling their eyes.

“Yeah, I heard her. Listen, take care man. And thanks.”

Without another word, Izzy pulled him away.

On his way home Tommy picked up some ribeye steaks and vegetables to throw on the grill and a six pack for the last weekend around the pool. He felt comfortable, content, happy even to just be carrying groceries to the car; to bring them back to what he imagined was his home, his family. Tess called and asked if he could pick the girls up from their playdate and he told her he’d love to.

“Thanks T,” she said, and he smiled to himself. She hadn't called him that in years.

+++++++++++++ 

Once she was in the carseat, Rosie asked if they could listen to some “Rock and Roll” so he blared the radio on the classc rock station and both girls laughed themselves silly when he sang along at the top of his lungs, doing a drum solo on the steering wheel.

“Uncle Tommy, are you staying at our house forever?” Emily asked, suddenly serious.

“Why, you tired of me already, Peaches?” He asked.

“No!” she said as they pulled into the driveway. “I like it. You’re more fun than mom or dad.”

“Well,” he said, feeling a bit guilty. “That’s because I’m just here for the fun sweetcakes. I don’t have to be the mom or dad.”

++++++++++++++

After making dinner and giving the girls their baths, Tommy went for a run. Tess couldn’t stop thanking him for his help, amazed at the way he doted on her and the girls, over and above what they expected of him. And he thrived on it; how well he could take care of them, how it filled the emptiness he’d felt for years. His therapist kept telling him it was the war, the friendly fire shit, the PTSD that made that hole, but he’d felt it long before he joined the corps. It was there because Brendan and Pop had been missing. As bad as he was, Pop helped to make him who he was. And even when he knew the full extent of his father’s abuse, he couldn’t help but feel that without the both of them, part of him would always be in shadow…obscured. He couldn’t be fully realized without them. Now he had all of the pieces back, all the answers, and they all moved him forward. He'd made all the right choices. Now it was his job to hold on.

When he got back he could hear all three of them laughing from Tess’ room. He grabbed a beer and went to shower and change, maybe grab a movie before bed. He slept easily lately; deep, restful sleep. The nightmares were less frequent and he woke energized rather than in a cold sweat. Still, he slept better when others were awake, when he could hear Brendan and Tess talking in the kitchen or watching T.V. Normal was his lullaby. Tonight though he couldn’t resist the pull of their voices and went to check in, to see if their happiness would rub off on him.

“I can hear you three goofballs all the way down the block,” he said from the doorway. “What’s so funny anyway?”

Tess’ cheeks were flushed red, her face bright with a wide smile while she rested on a nest of cushions and blankets in her yoga pants and tank top, her leg propped up on three pillows. Rosie and Emily were in their matching Hello Kitty pajamas, Emily drawing an elaborate flower garden on her mother’s cast, Rosie laughing uncontrollably at Despicable Me on the t.v.

“Watch the movie with us Uncle Tommy!” she yelled, scrambling off the bed to pull him into the room. "It's Gru!"

He resisted for a minute until Tess pressed pause on the remote and shifted over to the edge of the bed.

“Come on,” she said, patting the empty space next to her. “There’s room for everyone in mommy’s bed.” She looked away from him quickly after saying it and he felt his face grow hot. 

A tiny voice told him that if he was smart, he would leave. But Emily was already explaining the part of the movie he’d missed and Rosie was smiling at him with the kind of anticipation only a kid can convey. 

“OK! OK! I’ll watch for a few minutes. But no laughing. The first one to laugh gets thrown out the window,” he said, flopping onto the bed and pulling Rosie onto his lap. Of course both girls laughed and Tess waited for them to settle down before she pressed play.

A half hour later, Tommy could see them beginning to fade. They were quieter, laying on their stomachs, Emily’s eyes only half open. 

“I should get them into bed before they turn into dead weight,” Tommy said, stretching his arms above his head. The girls gave a weak protest and an insistence that they weren’t tired before giving their mother kisses on the cheek and wishing her goodnight. He slung Emily over his shoulder and took Rosie’s hand. “I’ll come back with your pill,” he whispered.

He should have just gone to bed. He shouldn’t have brought Tess a glass of water. When she asked him to sit with her and tell him stories about he and Brendan as kids he should have said no. He should have seen how she was drowsy, how the pills made her loose and languid and when she started to fall asleep, he should have covered her with a blanket and gone to his room. But Tommy had a habit of following his heart, his gut, of doing what his instincts told him. So when Tess nodded off while he told her about the Christmas Brendan got rollerblades and knocked over the tree, he just stopped talking and rolled onto his side, falling asleep next to her.


	8. Ruined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's your graphic sex warning :)

She woke up to find Tommy sleeping beside her. The t.v. was still on, the menu of the dvd repeating for what must have been hours. It was still dark. Two forty one. She remembered him taking the girls to bed; Emily asleep on his shoulder, Rosie shuffling along behind. She told him she needed a glass of water for her pill. He came back with it and they talked. That’s all she remembered. 

Now he was on his stomach with his arms wrapped around the pillow, one leg jackknifed up so that his knee was just inches from her belly. He looked younger when he slept, no tension in his jaw, his brow relaxed above closed eyes. Brendan had the same nose, the same ears. She turned onto her side to watch him sleeping, his lips fallen open, the pulse beating slow and strong in his neck, the tiny scar that ran through his eyebrow. After a minute or two he woke and caught her staring. Neither of them moved, neither of them spoke, just watched one another in the darkness. 

When she finally opened her mouth to say something he kissed her. Turning her onto her back he parted her lips with his and slipped his tongue in over her own, warm and wet. Without thinking she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him further on top of her. He groaned against her lips, relieved that she kissed him back. He was already hard. She could feel the thick, hot length of his prick pressing against her hip. What frightened her was how much she wanted it. She wanted him inside her and it made her wet just to think about it. As they kissed she spread her legs just an inch, a hint, a tease. He stopped moving and looked down into her eyes, his jaw trembling. Tess arched up to try and kiss him again, taste him again, but he pulled away, the question between them obvious. She opened herself to him further and whispered,

“Please,”

All Tommy did was nod before pulling her white tank top over her head and bending down to kiss her breasts. She tangled her fingers into his hair and held him against her, bucking her hips against his thighs. He nibbled his way down to her belly, pulling the waistband of her pants down, careful of the cast that kept her bedridden.

“Am I hurting you?” He asked, licking and kissing his way up her thigh. 

“Never,” she said, her good leg hooked around his back.

He gave her that smile then; that wicked, smoldering smile that had scared her in the past. She realized now that it scared her because she could see the thoughts behind it, what he’d always been thinking of when he looked at her, brushed up against her, caught her alone. Never breaking eye contact, he found her slippery wet lips with his tongue, purring against her clit at the taste he’d been imagining for months. Her whole body shuddered as he explored her, teased her with his fingers and mouth, bringing her right up to the edge of oblivion before pulling away to kiss her throat, her jaw and her mouth again, his lips so full and warm, slick and musky with her own juices. His knee pushed up against her and she ground herself on it, wanting so badly to come for him, again and again. But Tommy wouldn’t let her. He knew just when to stop and let her catch her breath, to prolong the pleasure. He wanted it to last, to be with her all night, to fall asleep with his dick buried deep inside her, their bodies twisted and damp, her head on his chest so he could smell her hair. 

It was her hand reaching down inside his boxers that broke his train of thought. She stroked him lightly while they kissed, but after a few seconds she pushed him off of her onto his back and said,

“I want to suck your cock.” 

He nearly came right then, hearing her voice in the darkness, the shadow of her long hair hanging down to tickle his belly while she pulled at his shorts. She paused to look at him, admire him, drag her fingernails over her chest and down his arms. He very nearly growled at her touch and tried to pull her face down to his, but she only smiled, bending down to lick his chest instead. She covered his black tattoos with kisses, traced the outlines with the tip of her tongue, all the while stroking the length of him with one hand. He wanted to watch her, to see every second, and reached out to push her hair away from her face, behind her ear and then to hold tight, massaging the back of her neck. At last she took him into her mouth, looking into his eyes as she swirled her tongue around the head, then blew a stream of air over the tip. He shivered and held onto her tighter.

“Fuck, Tess. You’re going to ruin me.”

They were both ruined. She knew that even as she continued pleasuring him, as he moaned and hissed her name through his teeth, she knew she was ruining everything. This would never stay a secret. It couldn’t stay hidden. Like an axe swung high above their necks, Brendan would eventually find out and their newly built family would be sliced to pieces. Right now though, she didn’t care. She just wanted Tommy Conlon to fuck her. For just one night she wanted to be his whore, to be with someone different, feel a different body, a different tongue, hear a different voice. Brendan was her soul mate, her best friend, the love of her life, but he was also the only man she’d ever kissed, ever loved, ever slept with. It had been almost twenty years since she’d felt that tingly excitement of the unknown, the anticipation of a touch, the stolen kisses, the first time. It was why she hadn’t pulled away from Tommy so many years ago, why she was ashamed to tell Brendan that he’d kissed her. How would he have understood that she hadn’t been disgusted? How would he have forgiven her if she’d told him that it gave her goosebumps? Now this was just another secret to hide.

As she hummed against him and dragged the flat of her tongue along the velvety taut skin she felt every part of him tense. He pushed her off of him, gasping for air.

“God damn girl, stop!”

She smiled at him, her lips shiny wet, swollen from their work. He wasn’t going to last much longer and he needed to be inside her. It was the one thing he’d dreamed of while lying alone at night on the other side of the house. He needed to feel them pressed together, his skin against hers. Guiding her gently onto her back he crouched between her legs while she stretched her arms above her head.

“Come on Tommy,” she said, her voice breathy and whining, “don’t make me beg for it.”

He pushed into her as deep as he could go and flattened himself on top of her, crushing his lips against hers as she met each of his thrusts with a buck of her own hips. She started to whimper, to whine his name into his ear, her fingernails clawing at his broad back.

“H-harder,” she stuttered. “Fuck me harder, Tommy.”

He groaned and held tight to her hips, feeling lightheaded, the familiar pressure building inside. Her breath came in quick shallow pants, her moans louder and deeper until she suddenly cried out so loud that he covered her mouth with his hand, afraid of waking the girls. She stiffened and arched her back into a bow, gasping for air. It was her sigh of contentment that sent him into his own blinding orgasm, his lips pressed against the racing pulse in her neck, his hands pinning her wrists over her head. For a minute or so afterward he didn’t move, didn’t pull out, didn’t speak. She purred in his ear and rolled out from under him onto her side. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

He looked so different to her now. Even in the dark she could see his eyes, wide and alert. He was exhausted yet renewed. He looked younger, stronger. She reached out to touch his parted lips. Guilt began creeping into the edges of her mind, but she ignored it as he leaned in to kiss her again.

“I need to get some sleep,” she said. “The…they’ll be up early tomorrow.”

Tommy nodded and snapped the t.v. off. As she drifted off, turned away from him to look out the window, she thought she heard him say “I love you,” but she prayed she was wrong. 

When she woke again a few hours later the sun was coming up and Tommy was nestled between her legs, soft kisses and licks, tempting her to wake. It was so decadent, so unexpected that she instantly felt her cheeks go red with heat as his tongue teased her, making her tremble. She tangled her fingers into his short hair and whispered, almost to herself,

“Oh my God, oh fuck Tommy.”

He pulled away and smiled, crawling up to kiss her before thrusting into her. It only took a minute for her to explode, her wails muffled by his own mouth sealed over hers. It triggered his own climax, his whole body stiffening then collapsing onto her chest. He laughed a little before they both fell silent. 

The guilt crawled in between them and Tess pushed him off of her, pulling herself out of bed, remembering for the first time that she was in pain, that her leg was broken. Tommy had made her forget. A lot of things.

“Don’t get up baby,” he said, pulling her back against his chest. 

He nuzzled her neck and wrapped a thick leg around hers, his hand wandering down between her legs. It was so warm and comfortable and she was tired and sore, and wanted to be held. It was also seven fifteen and the girls would be awake soon. She felt sick. 

“I have to get up, Rosie will want breakfast…” she said, unwinding her limbs from his. 

She felt wetness dripping down her leg and it terrified her. Suddenly it all terrified her, what she had become, what Tommy must think. The mattress shifted as he got up, walking around the room like he owned it, naked, his hair rumpled, his eyes tired. He found his t-shirt and boxers, stretched, and kissed her on the forehead. 

“That’s my job. You get some rest.” 

He shuffled out of the room, shutting the door behind him, yelling a good morning to his nieces, who would never know where their uncle had spent the night.

She didn’t rest. She didn’t sleep. When she heard the voices of her little girls calling for their favorite Uncle Tommy, she just pulled the blankets up around her nakedness and cried.


End file.
